It seems a little odd writing a blog post about the end of uni when I’ve been at home for the past 2 months. In a way, proper uni ended then. However, continuing with online teaching and powering through briefs still remained, just without my friends around me and no cheeky nights out. We still powered through and I’m nearing the end of my first year, so I thought I’d reflect, because it’s definitely had its ups and downs.
At some of you may remember, I really struggled with the start of uni (click for link to my blog post about loneliness at uni). To put it lightly, I was very lonely and not very happy. I didn’t have the most sociable flat and wasn’t making friends on my course as quickly as I hoped, so I ended up spending most my time in the four walls of my uni accommodation. This led me to not really liking uni as a whole. I would often come home on the weekends or go see my boyfriend in Manchester, but really, I wasn’t helping myself. I was running away from Nottingham and trying to find happiness elsewhere, but that just made me dread every time I had to go back. I definitely contemplated many times dropping out because I was that sad all the time. However, I stuck it through and I’m actually very proud of myself for completing first year.
I was continually told by my friends and family at home just to stick it through for a couple more months and see how I was after Christmas. As the days went on, I made more and more friends, leading me to enjoy uni more as a whole. I don’t know whether I was expecting too much to begin with, but things slowly started to fall in place. Cute little food dates and nights out do a lot for someone’s happiness.
This shift in my mood then led me to enjoy doing the work more because I would reward myself with these little dates and feel more accomplished. Before, the work was a chore, and I wasn’t really doing anything with my time except staring at my blank uni room walls. Granted it took me a long time to get to that happy place, but I was my cheeriest at uni so far in February. Unfortunately, we had to leave in March and come back home due to the pandemic, and I won’t lie, that was really upsetting. Finally getting to a happy place and looking at uni in a positive light, then it was ripped away. I felt selfish for a while to be thinking like that, but I learnt that it’s okay to be upset about it.
Online learning has been an interesting one. I personally haven’t minded it that much and kind of just got along with it, but it is difficult to stay motivated all the time. Like many to begin with with lockdown, I constantly felt very sluggish and tired, even though I wasn’t doing very much. You’d think uni would be easier because you can watch lectures and seminars from bed, but it’s doing the work later set that becomes difficult. Inspiration isn’t as readily available as it once was, so once I was in that down mood it was hard to shift it for a couple days. However, I actually am quite happy that uni continued setting us work because it gave me something to do. I know right now for me it feels funny saying that when I’m majorly stressing over our deadline next Friday, but I think if I had nothing to do for that length of time, I would have driven myself crazy. I might be looking forward to finishing uni and handing in that last piece of work, but I’m already thinking of things I can do after to fill my time. I think I want to try and stay creative because I enjoy that most, so I might create my own mini project to do, just without the pressure of a deadline. One more week to power through with uni work, then I can that time to explore new things.
I’m very lucky that I have the gals around me from uni that I do. I was slightly worried that contact would be lost when we all returned home but that group chat has been popping every day. Without the girls to chat with, complain with, and have a giggle, uni at home would have probably felt quite lonely and isolating; something I definitely did not want to go back to.
my fave things about notts: the gals, doughnotts, my homemade roast dinner, and fun events
I’m actually looking forward to second year, knowing I have the friends around me and living in my own house (even though we haven’t actually sorted a house yet, anyone want to help some gals out) will be so nice. We need to make up for lost time from this year, so I can imagine just having so much fun in months to come, obviously depending on the situation with Miss Rona. Either way, I’m feeling a lot more optimistic and positive about my second year, when if you asked me at the start of first year my thoughts of uni, I didn’t think I was even going to make it to second year. The absolute beauties of the fashion gals showing me how fun uni could actually be, and I’m very happy I’m taking that happiness into second year.
On to second year! (but first a deadline, ahh)
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